You

I can do this. I know I can do this. It can't be that hard, can it?

All these while, I was trying really hard. Friends and family, even I , myself, have been telling me, to quit it, to quit you. You are lethal.

I detoxified myself. I needed to get you out of my system. I unloaded all the pain, heartaches and thoughts I have kept within me. I carved open my heart and soul, and let everything pour out, for you to see. Did you like what you see? I didn't think so.

I need all the hours for it to heal. You broke, smashed and destroyed it to smithereens. Over and over again. Previously, I only somehow managed, to pick the pieces (that are big enough) and patch them up. It looked okay. It thought it was okay. But it never was. You didn't know that, didn't you? Of course you didn't. Or you just blinded your sight and mute out every sound, so you don't have to face how hurtful you have been.

Sorrys only last for so long. The rest, this weary mind has to think of excuses for your inexcusable behaviours. But alas, this weary mind gets too tired to think, and it has to stand another blow, coming from within.

I can't help it. It still aches missing you, thinking of you. It feels like I have not improved at all.

But I'm getting better. I know I am.