Want

If only it was your will to give me what I desire, this day would be easier to live by.

I desire not diamonds, nor golds, not a mansion, just someone to hold.

It is not required for my desire to be a knight, or a prince that is charming, or a beast who is a prince, cursed. Nor must he possesses wealth or good looks. Nay, he does not have to be a Shakespeare of his time.

He just has to hold his name and be what he is, who he is. And if he is who I'm drawn to, then he is whom, I desire.

It would be lovely, for him to harbor some interest in me. Then it would be mutual.

If only it was your will to give me what I desire...

Oh help me, I desire thee.

Shooting star

You came like a shooting star
O so bright, you were.
Illuminated my dark sky
shined my entire life.

Your trail of stardust has brought
immeasurable happiness to me
I wish I could catch
the tail of this star
so forever you will be
here with me.

I knew all along
that you were only passing by.
And if wishes do come true,
I'd wish upon you,
for you to keep on shining
O my precious, shooting star.

2024 hour (20/02/10)


Notes : For you.

Watakmu

Aku lihat engkau
dengan peluh hasil keringatmu
mengukir ukiran-ukiran hidup
mewarnai kehidupanmu
dengan suka dan duka
tersenyum sentiasa.

Aku dengar engkau
mendendangkan lagu-lagumu
yang kau cipta di kala sepi
untuk menghiburkan hati
diiringi muzik sakti
agar hilanglah sunyi.

Inginku dakap engkau
agar kau mengerti
engkau bisa bersandar padaku
buanglah lagak kuatmu
Kerana aku tahu,
kisah hatimu.


2008 hour (20/02/10)

Mimpi.

Indahnya rasa
dibuai lena
dan tibalah aku
di dunia baru.

Suatu ilusi
yang kujadikan memori
terindah dan paling berharga
cerita aku dan dia.

Tiada pengertian
tiada keterangan.
Hanyalah satu mimpi
di malam hari.


2228 hour (17/02/10)

L O V E

I have been through hell and back. I climbed up the heaven to see. I wrote countless poems, sang thousands of songs, memorized millions of sonnets and read a library of books. I have asked family, friends and even people passing by. I have blogged and tweeted and post up definitions, theories and related questions in Facebook. I have read responses from people around the world.

But I still don't get it.


I still don't know what love is.



...


Do you?

Storm

The sea seem so calm
with agreeable waves
hitting the shore
now and then.

But it is not always
the sea changes with weather
and the storm is almost always
here; disrupting its peace
destroying every inch of the walls
built as an army
to stop low-powered tsunamis.

Oh, how I wish I have
all the power to battle
the storm which awaits me
in the darkest hour.



1243 hour (15/02/10)

Kisah Aku dan Dia

Jauh di dalam ini
kusut mindaku
memikirkan suatu erti
buat perjuangan ini.

Nun di dalam sana
semuanya hancur dan luluh
mengenangkan kisah
yang tiada permulaan
jua tiada penghujung
kerana tak pernah ada
kisah itu, antara kita.

Kisah aku dan dikau
Rumit dan sukar untukku fahami
Apatah lagi untuk mereka mengerti.
Mampukah dirimu memahami
rasa seseorang yang dipenuhi harapan
namun punah semuanya.
Tak mampu kufahami
rasa si dia pemberi harapan
namun tiada niat memegang janji.

Ingin saja kumusnahkan semua memori
Namun terlalu sukar bagiku
melupakanmu.
Aku telah tewas,
dihadapanmu.

Kini, aku bangkit
menggalas satu semangat baru
dan berjalan
ke arah itu
di mana tiada kamu.
Tinggallah memori
tinggallah kamu.
Aku letih mengikuti kisah itu.


2011 (05/02/10)

You

I can do this. I know I can do this. It can't be that hard, can it?

All these while, I was trying really hard. Friends and family, even I , myself, have been telling me, to quit it, to quit you. You are lethal.

I detoxified myself. I needed to get you out of my system. I unloaded all the pain, heartaches and thoughts I have kept within me. I carved open my heart and soul, and let everything pour out, for you to see. Did you like what you see? I didn't think so.

I need all the hours for it to heal. You broke, smashed and destroyed it to smithereens. Over and over again. Previously, I only somehow managed, to pick the pieces (that are big enough) and patch them up. It looked okay. It thought it was okay. But it never was. You didn't know that, didn't you? Of course you didn't. Or you just blinded your sight and mute out every sound, so you don't have to face how hurtful you have been.

Sorrys only last for so long. The rest, this weary mind has to think of excuses for your inexcusable behaviours. But alas, this weary mind gets too tired to think, and it has to stand another blow, coming from within.

I can't help it. It still aches missing you, thinking of you. It feels like I have not improved at all.

But I'm getting better. I know I am.