Love

I have written on love
time and time.

I have searched love
experienced love
found love
lost love.

I have fallen in love
been in love
fall out of love
trusted love.

I have loved being in love
and loved being loved.

I have written on love
endlessly.

But I know not what love really is
still.

2353 hours (06/05/11)


Note : And I have lost faith in true love

'Twas

'Twas a tale
told by fairies
for sleepy kids
who are dreamy.

'Twas so surreal
I still could not believe
But my feet are on the ground
while my head afloat around.

I feel like Cinderella
on the night of the ball
but it continued for seven days
just like the seven dwarves.

Now I feel like Hansel and Gretel
losing their way home
and little Red Riding Hood
walking alone
to meet her beloved grandmother
only to meet a bad, bad wolf.

And I don't need no Prince Charming
I just need you.
And all those tales are told by fairies - untrue
but I hope you are true.


2140 hours (12/02/11)


Note : .

J(II)

The two lines that are the mesmerizing eyes.

With a gaze that could burn the icy mountains.

Captivated, I am.

The air around you, so hypnotizing

I was choked with mystery

You are quite intriguing, sir.

I thought I heard the angels sing

when I look upon you.

Ah pray don't catch me with crimson cheeks.

Tried I did, to make the tingling stop

and the pounding slowed

but all the particles of me

are stimulated by your presence.

You are my stimulus

and I react favourably to you.

You have done much, sir

to excite my senses.

To that,

I reward you a smile.

1838 hours (11/01/11)

Note : ... :)

Trust to fall

I remember

the music in my heart

the dances I danced

whenever I am

in love.

Everything is a beauty

and every day, a blessing

and every minute not spent with a you; tormenting

but still I listened to the music

and danced, the dance

even when apart

for a you is always close to my heart.

I remember

the secret smiles carved

the possibilities of life

the endless fluttering of butterflies

full in my stomach.

Oh I remember it all!

And I yearn it all!

When will I ever trust enough to fall

I'll give my all.

2156 hours (07/01/11)

(empty)

When I knock

inside it echoes

I feel the nothingness within me

and in deep I fall

into the abyss

of empty.

I feel the nothingness eating me

and I tremble with fear

that I will reach the end of my fall

before I learn how to fly.

2148 hours (07/01/11)

Edited (13/01/11)

Wavering

I doubt my heart
and that is not a good sign
I was so focused on You
That I pushed, pushed you away
Is it true what I feel?
Is it true what you feel?

You are unlike all I've ever known
Different, very different, oh so very different
I wonder if it is wrong?
I wonder if you are right.

I was caught in a whirlwind
when it all started
I could not comprehend
trying to comprehend
beginning to understand.

Have I not it all straight and aligned
still arranging
and rearranging.

I pray for the time to stop ticking
for I fear it will be too late.
Let it not be too late
or should it even matter?



1135 hours (20/12/2010)


Note : when I was confused. (Note on the word was) The latter applies. All is well now.

Teman

Di bawah langit biru
aku di sini
mengejar mimpi
mencari diri.

Ingin ku dakap semua
mimpi dan kamu, kamu dan kamu
biar seiring dengan langkahku
telah aku cuba
namun mampukah seorang manusia membina
piramid sehebat piramid Giza?

Tidak.
Aku tidak mampu.
Aku hanya manusia biasa
yang bisa letih dan menduga
Dan aku sudah letih
Dan aku tidak lagi percaya
pada keikhlasanmu,
pada kita.

Wahai teman,
aku rindu kita yang dahulu
Ketika aku bersorak untuk kamu
dan kamu bersorak untuk aku.
Ketika bahumu tempatku bersandar
melepaskan lelah serta keluh kesah terhadap dunia.

Wahai teman,
kau berjanji akan sentiasa berada disisiku
kau telah berjanji ini dan itu.
Namun kau tipu.

Kau bukan yang dahulu lagi
Kau tidak percaya pada persahabatan ini lagi
Kau seperti malu
Aku kurang kelayakan di matamu.

Kau dan dia dan dia sama sahaja
Aku tertipu lagi.


2318 hours (25/12/2010)

Nota : 1. Ya, aku pun sudah tidak peduli lagi.
2. Contemporary writing?