J(II)

The two lines that are the mesmerizing eyes.

With a gaze that could burn the icy mountains.

Captivated, I am.

The air around you, so hypnotizing

I was choked with mystery

You are quite intriguing, sir.

I thought I heard the angels sing

when I look upon you.

Ah pray don't catch me with crimson cheeks.

Tried I did, to make the tingling stop

and the pounding slowed

but all the particles of me

are stimulated by your presence.

You are my stimulus

and I react favourably to you.

You have done much, sir

to excite my senses.

To that,

I reward you a smile.

1838 hours (11/01/11)

Note : ... :)

Trust to fall

I remember

the music in my heart

the dances I danced

whenever I am

in love.

Everything is a beauty

and every day, a blessing

and every minute not spent with a you; tormenting

but still I listened to the music

and danced, the dance

even when apart

for a you is always close to my heart.

I remember

the secret smiles carved

the possibilities of life

the endless fluttering of butterflies

full in my stomach.

Oh I remember it all!

And I yearn it all!

When will I ever trust enough to fall

I'll give my all.

2156 hours (07/01/11)

(empty)

When I knock

inside it echoes

I feel the nothingness within me

and in deep I fall

into the abyss

of empty.

I feel the nothingness eating me

and I tremble with fear

that I will reach the end of my fall

before I learn how to fly.

2148 hours (07/01/11)

Edited (13/01/11)

Wavering

I doubt my heart
and that is not a good sign
I was so focused on You
That I pushed, pushed you away
Is it true what I feel?
Is it true what you feel?

You are unlike all I've ever known
Different, very different, oh so very different
I wonder if it is wrong?
I wonder if you are right.

I was caught in a whirlwind
when it all started
I could not comprehend
trying to comprehend
beginning to understand.

Have I not it all straight and aligned
still arranging
and rearranging.

I pray for the time to stop ticking
for I fear it will be too late.
Let it not be too late
or should it even matter?



1135 hours (20/12/2010)


Note : when I was confused. (Note on the word was) The latter applies. All is well now.

Teman

Di bawah langit biru
aku di sini
mengejar mimpi
mencari diri.

Ingin ku dakap semua
mimpi dan kamu, kamu dan kamu
biar seiring dengan langkahku
telah aku cuba
namun mampukah seorang manusia membina
piramid sehebat piramid Giza?

Tidak.
Aku tidak mampu.
Aku hanya manusia biasa
yang bisa letih dan menduga
Dan aku sudah letih
Dan aku tidak lagi percaya
pada keikhlasanmu,
pada kita.

Wahai teman,
aku rindu kita yang dahulu
Ketika aku bersorak untuk kamu
dan kamu bersorak untuk aku.
Ketika bahumu tempatku bersandar
melepaskan lelah serta keluh kesah terhadap dunia.

Wahai teman,
kau berjanji akan sentiasa berada disisiku
kau telah berjanji ini dan itu.
Namun kau tipu.

Kau bukan yang dahulu lagi
Kau tidak percaya pada persahabatan ini lagi
Kau seperti malu
Aku kurang kelayakan di matamu.

Kau dan dia dan dia sama sahaja
Aku tertipu lagi.


2318 hours (25/12/2010)

Nota : 1. Ya, aku pun sudah tidak peduli lagi.
2. Contemporary writing?

Time

The clock ticks
telling me it is time.
I already knew
but I needed more signs.

The clock ticks
telling me it is time.
I ignored
all the signs.

The clock ticks
recording the time.
And I curl at the corner of the room
accompanied by misery

The clock ticks
rewinding the time
We are all-a-merry
going round and round.
Or were we?

The clock ticks
telling me it is time.
I have come to my senses
what little of my pride

The clock ticks
It is time.
One feet at one time,
going away.

The clock ticks
telling me the time
12 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock and so on.


2232 hours (8/11/10)

Painted memories

Every time I close my eyes
I wonder
to where will my thoughts be adrift.
I was afraid that it will drift to a memory
I no longer wish to keep.
It has been awhile
and I felt my wounds starting to heal
and only left me with scars
that remind me
where I have been.

You were the wound that bled me
'till I'm all dried up.
You were the wound that cut me
in so deep.

But I was healing
and you, remain a scar.
But a scar hurts more than a wound
sometimes.


2317 hour (16/10/10)