The Wait

In life,
there has always been,
one true desire of mine,
to love.

Beaten like a rug,
stepped on like grapes,
I have been pained
for love.

The rug shall be clean.
Grapes turn to wine.
good things shall come;
hard and slow.

In the dark I shall lie
awaiting dawn.

1820 hours
12/03/2013

You were a dream baby, you are
just that.
And I have to wake up
or I shall die
of missing you.

Si Pemilik Hati

Hai si pemilik hati,

kau penuhi ruang mimpi

apakah tidak cukup lagi ingatanku

yang kekal padamu di kala dua mata terbuka.

Indahnya bila

kisah mimpi kisah yang hatiku puja

enggan kutersedar

dari ulitan mimpi yang bak impian menjadi nyata.

Namun semua kisah kan berakhir jua

dan dua mata kubuka

pemilik hati, kau tiada

dan aku tahu ini bukan lagi mimpi.

Kau penuhi lagi ruangan minda

kini bersama cebisan mimpi dan realiti

aku keliru, aku mahu

namun semuanya hanyalah satu fantasi.

Oh si pemilik hati.

1004 hours 11/09/11

Note : Dreams, dreams.

Nobody truly loves
Nobody truly believes
Nobody truly cares
Nobody truly appreciate
minua

Rain shall fall.
Still the only shadow in a foggy street.

2157 hour (16/08/11)

What's my age again?

Maybe I am five

for all I want is chocolate and cotton candy

and running around freely

forgetting my worries.

But my worries are weighty,

though my choices aren't plenty

and I lack wisdom to contemplate

I must be twelve.

Factually I am nineteen.

With education being the most important thing

With never enough shoes and clothes

and my future will be as I shape it.

But I have given up on love

of almost lovers and horse riding princes

I am sceptical.

I must be twenty-five.

Though I must say, there are

So much expectations

So much responsibilities

So much anger in my heart

Ah.

I must be forty.

0536 hours (02/08/11)

Restart

You.
You were a dream
that came true.

Much has passed
and we started over with a clean slate.

Every time you ask I feel the want to break down
and pour every single pain and joy
but I halt.
It is not that I do not trust you.
Maybe it is that I do not trust you.

I do not trust that you would not leave.
For you left, once.
And they all left.
That is what I do not trust you with
And not because I do not trust you.

I forgave and asked for forgiveness
What I do not do best
but for you I did
because I think you are worth it.
I hope you are worth it.

Much has passed
and we started over with a clean slate
Let us not make a mess again.


1734 hour (25/07/11)

Plenty Done

I have done plenty
and a little bit more than plenty.
and not a word of gratitude crosses your lips.
I do not wish for much.

I do not ask to be showered with gifts
nor to be written a sonnet of,
nor do I ask to be thanked,
if doing so proves to be too difficult for you.

I do not ask for much
but only for you to not deny
that I have done plenty for thee
and a little more than plenty

I may not have given you gold or jewellery
But I have given thee the turnings of my clock
and it is as precious if not more.
Pray thy not forget.

Do not take this as I, asking to be Queen
I do not wish for much
but only to not be denied that I have done plenty
and a little bit more than plenty.

2349 hours

(08/07/110)

edited 19/07/11