No matter how hard I try to convince myself.

And if I could, I would kiss the grounds you walk on.

I couldn't do that. I shouldn't do that.

You don't deserve that.

Miracle

If you would walk with me into the past you shall see, how we were strangers before, not knowing your right to my left, your left to my right. By some miracle, I found your left, and you found my right. But that was that.

Walk a little more with me and you shall see, how I saw you with indifference before, not knowing you would soon become, the most important thing in my life. You never did see me. By some miracle, I saw you and you saw me.

Now, my dear, even further if you will. Endless routes mapping our journey, but which one to take? It is all the same, I assure you, the same destination they all lead. Ah yes, I figure curiosity would bit you, then we shall walk this path, that opened up recently. Ah yes, it is but different from all the others. Oh no, my dear, I have yet to find where it leads.

This is the path you lead me now.

By some miracle, let it be a miracle.

An Attraction

Always have
but have never admitted.
let it passed
let it go
Until one day
you came and reminded me
what have always but was never admitted.

And I have admitted
and is admitting
but that is that.
For this must be
a simple
and, is just
a harmless
innocent
attraction.


2337 hour (21/03/10)

Solo

My days echo silence
and silence become deafening
Too loud to listen
too loud to hear
one's heart.

It beats indeed
frantic and sometimes slow
Trying too hard
to feel.

What is this hollow space?
echoing the silence
so loud and deafening.
What is this void?
filling me
empty.


0103 hour (16/03/10)


Note : Happy 100th post.

This letter

My dear darling,

What's taking you so long? I'm just...here. Come as soon as possible and please, be sure.

Love you.

Ego

Bitter,
this unpleasant taste.
With courage
I carved those smiles
and push away my tears
all for you
all for you.

This unpleasant taste
feels different
unfamiliar
and hurtful.
Or maybe,
it is just an old feeling
too familiar
and hurtful.

The battle,
this is how I lose.
This is how my ego bruise.


2310 hour (11/03/10)

The Battle of The Heart and The Mind

I should grow out of this habit of mine
thinking you are thinking of my
well-being and health
and possibly, my very face.

That very thought
is not only impossible to have
also to happen
I am aware.

But I write to speak for my heart
and at this moment
my heart says, so do you.
and it infuriates me that my heart says
that you wrote of me
when it isn't true, says my mind.

This is the battle of my heart and my mind
And you have complete power over who becomes the victor
Maybe my heart should not win
for nothing good will come of it
neither will there be
if it is the other way round.


0153 hour (10/03/10)

Yang Pasti.

Jangan kau usir
suara dalam mindamu
yang bingit.
Peringatan buatmu
agar sentiasa begerak,
maju.

Usirlah dia
suara dalam mindamu
yang bingit.
Melekakanmu,
agar kau sentiasa berhenti,
dan menangguh.

Tiada yang pasti dalam hidup ini.
Cuma satu.
Waktu itu,
bukan milik kita.


2357 hour (09/03/10)